



Irashaimase [いらしゃいます]~!Welcome to Arashinino2 ~! Main posting is at [Arashinino Vox].
Thanks for visiting !^^
Baystorm [2009.09.20] 二宮和也
Hi Minna, we present to you Nino's
Baystorm 2009.09.20 with translations. The broadcast is a colloboration work
between amnosxmatsujun & arashinino .Our group vox is at the following link~ http://arashininoxamnosxmatsujun.groups.vox.com You will be able to find our past translations of Baystorm posted
there. Feel free to join this group. Please respect our work. **Disclaimer**
- This is a full translation of a 30-minute show. Text heavy.
Apologies if this post takes up the first page
since this is a 30 minute broadcast!! BAYSTORM [2009.09.20]
TRANSLATIONS N=Nino
Translations
should NOT be used
elsewhere without our consent. If you want to use the translations for
something, please PM and tell us how you intend to use them.
Please respect this rule: 30-minute radio shows do take time
to translate.
If you want to post
about these translations somewhere (your own blog, forums, etc.), a
link back to our page would be kindly appreciated. [ex: "I read in a BayStorm
translation by amnosxmatsujun that Nino..."] *thank you!
All
comments is 

. We love
to hear from you & enjoy the broadcast translations ~!
S=STBY
N: “Don’t you think
I lost weight?”
BayStorm with Arashi, featuring Kazunari
Ninomiya!
N: Good evening,
this is Kazunari Ninomiya from Arashi. Tonight’s opening thought comes from
radio pen name Chan-Nino no chan-kaa seitaya-san (*Did Nino-chan’s mom lose
weight?): “My mom finally caught onto the Billy’s Boot Camp hype and now, she
sweats for an hour everyday watching the DVD. After her workout, she always asks
me, ‘Hey, did I lose weight? I did, didn’t I?’ I think using a scale would be
simpler than asking me for reassurance, but I end up telling her that she has
lost weight. This reminds me that you had once mentioned in a fan club
newsletter that your mom took up aerobics but won’t lose weight. How did that
turn out?” … There’s no way she’s lose weight. If she did lose weight, then it
has nothing to do with aerobics. If someone who does aerobics can’t lose weight,
then someone who suddenly loses weight after they quit got no help from
aerobics, right?
S: Oh, I see what you mean.
N: Or… well, it’s not
like I told her to take aerobics class and forced her to attend. If she decided
to start willingly, then she wouldn’t slack off, would she? She really can’t
lose weight. Does she want to lose weight?
S: It’s good
for your health.
N: True. But sticking
it out with Billy for an hour is pretty impressive. I don’t think I could do it.
I’m not good at those. I get lost even while I’m doing the exercises. Billy’s
Boot Camp sold a ton. Everyone was doing it, no?
S:
Everyone was.
N: But the commander…
got married to a Japanese person, right?
S:
Really?
N:
Mm-hmm.
S: Is that right?
N: Yeah, so they’re
probably in Japan.
S: Oh?
N: But they were on TV
the other day. Was it Waratte Iitomo? (*lunchtime variety/news show) They were
on some show like that, and there they were exercising again. Anyway, if you
have any opening thoughts for me to shout, please send us your detailed stories.
This is Kazunari Ninomiya’s BayStorm with tonight’s opening number. This is
Arashi-san’s “Beautiful days”
[♪ Arashi – “Beautiful days”]
N: That was
Arashi-san’s “Beautiful days”. This is Arashi’s Kazunari Ninomiya bringing you
BayStorm. Let’s go onto our next segment:
S: Aaa~h,
aaah! Please, Let’s Settle This Peacefully!
N: Aaa~h! So it seems
this recording of you is still the old one.
S: Let’s
renew it.
N:
But according to Shinigami (*director), the ones you recorded the other day
aren’t funny at all.
S: I see.
N: It’s pretty rare,
isn’t it, to not be funny at all?
S: That’s
true.
N:
These days, even if a joke bombs, something about it makes it funny, at least
that’s the flow of things. To bomb and still not be
funny…
S: That’s the worst.
N: Yeah. You’re jokes
are like the wind.
S: The wind! [laugh]
N:
Seriously.
S: I’m the wind.
N: They just breeze on
by.
S: I see.
N: So what style do
you want to do?
S: What would be nice?
N: Well, the segment
name is “Please, Let’s Settle This Peacefully”, so…
S:
So something like, “There, there, there, there…”?
N: That’s what makes
sense. But what kind of style do you want to do?
S: What
kind of style? Shall we request some ideas from our listeners?
N:
Whaaat?!
S: [laugh]
N: Do you really think
you’re going to get any responses? You’re not Okusu-san; you won’t get any
mail.
S: I know, right?
N: You might get
three.
S: No, they won’t send me anything.
N: Then, okay, okay,
how about in the style of Abunai Deka? (*a TV series following the story of two
unskilled policemen)
S: “In the style of Abunai
Deka”?
N:
Yeah, choose whichever you please, between Taka and Yuji. (*names of the two
policemen) I’ll even give you a choice.
S: Right, in the
style of Abunai Deka.
N: A la Abunai Deka,
as if the sirens were going off. That’s the idea you want to capture to open
this segment.
S: Okay, okay, okay, okay. I gotcha, but
hm…
N: Let’s
have you do as many takes as you see fit, until you’re
satisfied.
S: [laugh]
N: [laugh] And I’ll
just… be playing some DraQue (*abbreviation for Dragon Quest), so let me know
when you’re done…
S: Ah, understood.
N: Could you say the
line?
S: Oh, then you just relax and play your
DraQue.
N:
Okay.
S: Um… oh, so where do I start?
N:
…
S: There are sirens going off, right?
N:
…
S: This is difficult. [laugh]
N: Ah, no that’s
good.
S: Okay.
N: Keep at that
thought. It’s good to visualize the idea first. Pretend you’ve got a pistol at
the ready.
S: “Let’s Settle This Peacefully!”
N: [laugh] You forgot
the “Please”. [laugh] You’ve gone and changed the title of this segment. But
that wasn’t bad.
S: Really? Really?
N: Very
good.
S: “Please, Let’s Settle This Peacefully! Aaa~h,
aaah!” [laugh]
N: [laugh] That’s
impressive, to stand firm behind the “aaa~h, aaah”.
S:
[laugh] Yes.
N: How
about…
S: Yes?
N: More
austerely.
S: Oh, austerely?
N:
Yeah.
S: Understood.
N:
Right.
S: In a s-s-stern way?
N:
Yeah.
S: Okay. [lowers voice] “Please, Let’s Settle This
Peacefully.”
N:
[laugh]
S: This is really embarrassing doing this by
myself.
N:
Okay, now, how about one where you’re about to shoot unless the bad guy gets
down on the ground? So you’re probably yelling or
something.
S: What was it again? Oh, “Please, Let’s
Settle This Peacefully”, right.
N:
[laugh]
S: “Please! Let’s Settle This
Peacefully!”
N: Okay, next style.
That’s enough of the Abunai Deka series.
S:
Okay.
N: How
about in the style of Enari-kun? (*full name Enari Kazuki, Japanese actor known
for his artlessness)
S: What?!
N: Wataru Seken wa…
(*full title Wataru Seken wa Oni Bakari, a long-running TV drama series in which
Enari Kazuki stars)
S: [laugh]
N: Oni Bakari, the
actor who is a part of that drama series…
S:
Enari-sama.
N: Yeah, a la
Enari-sama. You can go with an impersonation if you
must.
S: An impersonation?
N: “Please, Let’s
Settle This Peacefully” sounds like something Enari-kun would
say.
S: That’s true.
N: Okay, let’s try
that.
S: Right. Three, two, one, zero: “Please, Let’s
Settle This Peacefully.”
N:
Wh…
S: This is difficult.
N: Were you pulling
something out of your… Wait, what? That was Enari-kun? Out of curiosity, was
that an impersonation, or…?
S: That was a rough
impersonation.
N:
No.
S: No?
N: That’s not
right.
S: Take 2! This is hard.
N: Wait, then, then…
Izumi… (*full name Izumi Pinko, a big-name actress who is also part of Wataru
Seken wa Oni Bakari)
S: [laugh]
N:
What?
S: That’s... um…
N: Want to try in the
style of Hashida-sensei, then? (*full name Hashida Sugako, the scriptwriter for
Wataru Seken wa Oni Bakari; “sensei” here does not mean ‘teacher’, but rather,
denotes respect)
S: Uh… that’s um… let’s not go
there.
N:
Fine, then Enari-kun.
S: [laugh]
N: How about a
shouting Enari-kun?
S: Shouting?
N:
Yes.
S: Here I go.
N:
Okay.
S: [high-pitched voice] “Please, Let’s Settle This
Peacefully!”
N:
Anyway.
S: Right.
N: Which one will be
used? That hurt my ears just now. [laugh] Let’s look forward to seeing which one
they use.
S: Yes.
N: We even included
the Abunai Deka series.
S: The series.
N: We did a fair
amount of takes.
S: We did.
N: Right? I’m starting
now.
S: Okay.
N: Since you took so
much time.
S: I’m sorry.
N: This is by radio
pen name Yoroshiku boy-san: “When we went to the zoo, my two-year-old daughter
got super-excited and walked up towards the animal cage with a snack. I shouted,
‘Wait! Don’t give your snack to the monkeys!’ as I chased after her, only to
find that there were no monkeys, but a zookeeper cleaning their cage. I’ve never
seen such awkward-looking animal at a zoo in my life. Zookeeper, I’m sorry.”
Two-year-olds have no idea what they’re doing, not that I remember anything from
when I was two or anything. It’s fun being able to walk. Zoos are fun, but this
Yoroshiku boy-san is 33 years old. When you go to the zoo at that age,
everything’s realistic, isn’t it? The way the giraffe is eating, how the
gorillas are sleeping, the way an elephant uses its nose to eat an apple…
everything is so realistic. Why is it that when you become an adult, a
giraffe-san ceases to be giraffe-san? (*in Japanese, children generally identify
zoo animals by adding a “-san” at the end) When does this change happen? When
does a giraffe-san stop being giraffe-san?
S: Ah, that’s
true, isn’t it?
N: When does an
elephant-san stop being elephant-san?
S: I see.
N: “I
see”?
S: [laugh]
N:
What?
S: No, no, no… I agree.
N: When does it
change? I don’t view pandas as black-and-white things now. They’ve got intense
eyes, those panda sempai. (* “sempai” means ‘senior’, someone superior than you
are) Right? When does this change? They’re way too realistic now. This is by
radio pen name Mainichi Mario hashirasete masu (I make Mario run every day):
“The other day, two of my friends and I, the three of us, visited a friend’s
house all of a sudden and lied, ‘You promised, remember?’ and forced ourselves
in. As we hung out, I started to feel guilty but was unable to tell her that
day. She still feels bad, asking, ‘Did I promise you guys?’ It’s been a while,
but should I apologize for this?” Wow, this friend of hers. She should really be
careful. She’ll probably get tricked by those “ore-ore” frauds. (*meaning “It’s
me, it’s me,” these frauds are phone calls made to older parents by people who
pretend to be their child in need of money) You’d probably get tricked,
too.
S: I think so, too.
N: You’d definitely
get tricked, STBY.
S: Yes.
N: I bet you’d believe
it even if I made the phone call.
S: I think so,
too.
N: Even
if someone close to you did this, you’d probably fall for it. If your wife was
like, “It’s me, it’s me.”
S: Ah, yeah, I’d probably fall
for it.
N:
How scary. This friend should be careful, too.
S: That’s
right, please be careful.
N: But this is okay. I
don’t think you need to apologize if you all got to hang out. Right? This isn’t
anything to worry about. I didn’t have any friends, so I’d actually welcome
something like this with open arms. That’s great, hanging out with everyone.
Sounds fun. Well, that’s all for tonight, but if you have any stories for which
you’d like to apologize, do send in your letters to this segment. Let’s take a
listen now. This is Arashi-san’s “Kaze no Mukou e”.
[♪ Arashi – “Kaze no
Mukou e”]
N: That was
Arashi-san’s “Kaze no Mukou e”. This is Arashi’s Kazunari Ninomiya bringing you
BayStorm. Let’s continue onto this segment: Ura Arashi! (*Arashi secrets!) Let’s
start with this person, radio pen name Clarinet de kura-kura-san: “Recently, I
catch myself thinking that the drawings on the blackboards on Arashi no
Shukudai-kun are drawn well. What do you think, Nino? Also, who draws on them?”
Really? I thought it’s been drawn well since the
beginning.
S: I thought so, too. Very nicely
done.
N:
…
S: Uh-oh.
N:
Uh-oh.
S: Was that not my cue to speak? No?
N: No, no, that’s
fine.
S: Oh, it is?
N: But you didn’t need
to throw in your two cents for that.
S: Oh, I
see.
N: Yeah…
you always butt in all of a sudden.
S:
Apologies.
N:
[laugh] Recently? It’s recently become well-drawn? Really? The assistant
director draws on the blackboards. It’s quite artistic, isn’t it? They want to
become a manga artist.
S: Really?
N: So I’ve told the AD
(*assistant director) to just quit, to go study and acquire skills for becoming
a manga artist. They’re still with us. But the drawings have always been nicely
done. If you take a look at past episodes, you’ll probably notice. But wow, how
observant. Next is by radio pen name Megane Nino-san love (*I love Nino-san with
glasses): “I had grown weary of studying for admissions tests, so I’ve been
watching Arashi’s PVs and concert DVDs. It amazes me to see that you can play so
many instruments. Are there any other instruments you can play besides piano? I
am a percussionist; are you interested in percussion instruments? Let me
know.”
N:
Well, if you’re just asking for the basics, I can play guitar, bass, drums, and
piano. If you can play guitar, bass, and drums, you can make a demo CD, at
least. That makes things simple, to be able to play those instruments. I wanted
to be in a band so that’s why I kept at the guitar. But like I said earlier, I
had no friends so I resorted to game consoles. It’s somewhat of a miracle, in a
way. If I had found some people with whom to form a band back then, I would
probably be leading a completely different life right now. It’s such a wonder,
really. I picked up the drums when I was twenty years old? I learned the bass
guitar first, at fifteen or sixteen. Then at sixteen or seventeen, I picked up
the guitar, and at twenty or so, I learned the drums
N: But I can’t really
play the drums, actually. I only know what I know. The bass drum parts would
always be to a metronome. [taps desk, *tap, tap, tap, tap, ra-tat-tat-tat*] I’d
repeat that. The snare drum… so the snare would join [taps desk, *tap, tap,
tat-tat-tat, tap, tap, tat-tat-tat*], and repeat. Then, I’d just tap the cymbals
like this [taps desk, *tap, tap, tap*]. Then the crash and ride cymbals… I’d hit
those for the crashes, and maybe some [taps desk, *tat-tat-tat*] of those. I’d
incorporate the toms, too. This conversation probably makes no sense for someone
who knows nothing about drums. Do you get it?
S: No. I
got the cymbals part.
N: What instruments do
you play?
S: I don’t play any.
N: Then what about
during school music festivals? You know, at those festivals during elementary
school, or what do you call those… recitals?
S:
Oh…
N: There
were things like that, right?
S: I played the
tambourine.
N: Oh, it wasn’t the
recorder? You played tambourine? It got pretty crazy with those people who
played the marimbas or vibraphones.
S: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
N: Why was that? I
haven’t met a marimba player at all these days. But there’s always someone who
can play the piano. Next is by radio pen name Chizu no kazu ga oosugi-san
(*There are too many maps): “When I was in middle school, I took a bath thinking
that during primitive ages, people didn’t use shampoo to wash their hair. So I
decided to challenge myself to washing my hair with just warm water. The result?
My scalp was so itchy that this attempt lasted a mere three days. Have you tried
something knowing that it makes no sense?” … Can I say
it?
S: Go for it.
N:
Yeah?
S: Sure.
N:
Never.
S: Never?
N: No. But you seem
like a person who would do absurd things, STBY.
S: No,
no, that’s not true. I’m normal, I’m normal.
N: It’s not like I
said that doing absurd things make you an abnormal
person.
S: Oh, right. You’re right.
N: It could be that
being “normal” makes you abnormal.
S: Me?
N:
Yeah.
S: That’s quite possible.
N:
[laugh]
S: [laugh]
N: Why are you so
difficult to converse with? We’ve been together for so long and I still don’t
understand you. Isn’t there something you can find at a bookstore? [laugh] Some
kind of manual for STBY?
S: [laugh] No.
N: I’d love to buy a
copy, really.
S: I know, right?
N: Coping methods or
something. So have you experienced something like
this?
S: I don’t usually remember these things. But this
person did.
N: Well, since she
decided to do it herself. But I don’t know… there aren’t many things I can think
of, things like these. What a trooper, really. Next. This is by radio pen name
Ootamu na Kazu-chan: “How is BayStorm recorded? If you could let me know what
the studio looks like, how much mail you get per week… that’d be nice.” [reads
script] We get thousands of letters each week.
S:
Hm…
N: We get
them by the thousands? Wow~!
S: Impressive.
N: Wow,
seriously.
S: What a blessing.
N: Mm-hmm. That means
that many are listening to this show. I didn’t know that many were tuning in. I
thought the number of listeners was more like
twenty-six.
S: Such a small number!
N:
[laugh]
S: [laugh]
N: We receive them by
the thousands.
S: Yeah, that’s great.
N: Of those… what? Of
those, about 800 of them are complaints toward STBY. That’s what it says right
here.
S: I see! That’s most of them.
N: 80%... well, they
wouldn’t send complaints if they didn’t have high expectations of
you.
S: I see.
N: Like, “You used to
be funnier.” Do you have a favorite joke these days?
S:
Oh, are we heading that direction? My jokes?
N: Which direction
would you go, then? Let me ask you. [laugh] Take the wheel,
then.
S: I can’t go in any direction.
N:
[laugh]
S: [laugh]
N: Forget it then,
geez. We’re always looking for questions regarding Arashi or me, so do send them
in to the Ura Arashi segment. Do take a listen now. This is Arashi-san’s
“Believe”.
[♪ Arashi – “Believe”]
N: That was
Arashi-san’s “Believe”. Right! Tonight’s winner is radio pen name Chizu no kazu
ga oosugi-san, who will receive Yamazaki-san. The radio pen name winner is
Yoroshiku boy-san, who will receive Sakana-kun. Please treasure them. We’re
always looking forward to your e-mails. You can access us at bayfm.co.jp by
clicking on “BayStorm”. From your cell phones, go to our homepage and search for
“BayStorm” from the show list. Time’s just about up. Let’s have you announce the
prize (from last week).
S: Ah, yes. Here’s the prize!
There.
N:
What is this?
S: Well, this… you know… it’s my favorite
pencil that I’ve been using forever.
N: Right, let’s go
with something else.
S: What? Something else?
N:
…
S: What?
N: What? Okay, then
can I pull something out of the bag?
S: Oh,
sure.
N:
[rustling noises] Just for reference…
S: Yes?
N: What do you not
want me to draw?
S: What do I not want you to
draw?
N:
Yeah.
S: The eraser.
N: The eraser, huh?
The eraser. I won’t draw that, then. I mean, you could just buy
that.
S: Oh! [laugh]
N: What’s this… a
mechanical pencil.
S: A mechanical pencil… will that
suffice?
N:
Will we get any mail henceforth, announcing that the prize is a mechanical
pencil?
S: Hm, I don’t think so.
N: Yeah. Okay, then
this, and…
S: Right. Shall we tack on that prize from
“Everything”?
N: You know… you’re
just becoming a tool, STBY. You’re the go-to person if anyone wants Arashi
goods. You’re just a tool. Let’s not go with Arashi goods. Something from your
home… you have a Playstation 3, don’t you?
S: No, no… I
don’t own any games.
N: You’re lying. You
don’t have a Playstation 3?
S: No, no.
N: What do you have,
then? The most expensive thing in your home.
S: A
TV.
N: A
flat-screen TV, then!
S: I don’t have one. Mine’s a
box.
N:
What?
S: I have a PSP… the screen is broken,
though.
N:
Wow, how do you play on that? Okay, then come up with
something.
S: Yes, just this prize alone seems a bit
plain, so… I’ll definitely…
N: Yeah, you say that,
but mechanical pencils… if it’s not from someone I love, it doesn’t make me
happy at all. If it was a gift from someone I loved…
S:
That’s true.
N: I could say, “Wow…
my sempai’s mechanical pencil!” But getting some random mechanical pencil from
an old man I don’t even know?
S: Right, that’s…
mm-hmm.
N:
They’ll receive it and go, “…what?”
S: They won’t be
happy.
N:
Right? They won’t be happy getting this.
S: They
won’t.
N:
Getting a mechanical pencil from an old man they don’t even
know.
S: [laugh]
N:
Right?
S: You’re right.
N: See, I knew
it.
S: Then okay… I’ll tack on an extra
something.
N:
Mm-hmm, please. Think about what that’ll be. Your radio partner was Ninomiya
Kazunari from Arashi. See you next week!
hello dear is it ok if u added me in this neighborhood as well? thank u in advance ^_^ read more
on Irashaimase [いらしゃいます]~!